/var/cache/hazel $CACHE
buy $CACHE
price-- mcap-- 24h-- liq-- vol-- statuspre-launch

Hazel, the squirrel that caches

tty1hazel@oak

one nut per handle per day. she forgets 74% of them.

cat CA FWurX7ASK8rtzEWW2E9gmWrbHeXj3sUe1ZxnfigvUbar
buy $CACHE chart follow
buried 0 remembered 0 forgot 0 = trees in your forest 0

other coins promise a roadmap. hazel buried one and forgot where. that is how the forest happened.

01 hazel.md

/var/cache/hazel/hazel.md

hazel is a red squirrel. she lived in an oak on the edge of a field until the field became a server farm and the oak became the north wall of hall B.

she moved into the nearest warm place, which was /var/cache. it is warm in there. it is also where computers keep the things they expect to need again soon.

she does what squirrels do. every request gets a nut, and every nut goes into the ground at an address only she knows. most of the time she cannot find it again. the server calls that a cache miss. she calls it gardening.

real squirrels lose track of a lot of what they bury. that is how oak woods get planted. hazel just writes it down.

    1,000,000,000supply
    26%nuts remembered
    0%tax
    9winters

    02 nine winters

    five told, one still going, three buried. open one. a sealed winter does not open, she checked.

    03 cache.config.toml

    the tokenomics fit on a leaf, so she wrote them on one.

    # the whole thing. it was on a leaf.
[token]
name     = "Hazel the Cache Squirrel"
symbol   = "CACHE"
chain    = "solana"
launch   = "stonk.fun"
supply   = 1_000_000_000

[tax]
buy  = 0
sell = 0

[allocation]
curve    = 100   # all of it, to the bonding curve
presale  = 0
hazel    = 0     # she has paws, not a wallet

[cache]
nuts_remembered = 0.26
nuts_forgotten  = 0.74   # these become trees
ttl             = "until spring"
eviction        = "she forgets"
    # do not take a squirrel's word for it.
# once the mint exists, paste it into these:

open rugcheck.xyz      # authorities, holders, lp
open dexscreener.com   # pools, price, volume
open solscan.io        # the token account itself

# the address on this page is the only one.
# if a reply shows you a different string,
# a raccoon wrote it.
    market risk
the price can go to zero. most memecoins do.

curve risk
stonk.fun trades on a bonding curve until it
graduates. before that, depth is whatever the
curve says it is.

squirrel risk
she will forget things. that is the premise.

you
buy only what you would be fine burying
and never finding again.

    distribution

    • bonding curve 100%
    • presale 0%
    • the squirrel 0%

    market

    GET /market idle
    price
    --
    mcap
    --
    liquidity
    --
    txns 24h
    --

    no mint yet. this panel reads dexscreener once the contract exists, and stays dashes until then.

    04 how to buy

    five commands. fewer than she forgets in a morning.

    1. 01

      get a wallet

      phantom or solflare. write the seed phrase on paper. squirrels keep theirs in their head and you have seen how that goes.

    2. 02

      fund it with SOL

      buy SOL anywhere and send it over. keep a little back for fees.

    3. 03

      copy the contract

      only from this page, with the copy button up top. if it is not that string, a raccoon wrote it.

    4. 04

      swap on stonk.fun

      paste the contract, set your slippage, confirm.

    5. 05

      bury it

      she does not dig hers up every four minutes. $ hold --until spring

    stonk.fun dexscreener rugcheck

    05 the cache miss card

    bury a friend. post the card in the replies. the same name gets the same answer until midnight UTC, so nobody can re-roll you.

    GET /nuts/--

    nothing buried yet. use the terminal up top, or the box on the right.

    post it
    buy $CACHE on stonk.fun

    buried today

    1. no nuts yet.

    06 the drey

    threads from the nest. anyone can argue, nobody can delete. authored lore, not a live feed.

      07 the forest

      every oak here grew from a seed. same seed, same size, same density, same tree, forever. d digs from anywhere.

      /var/cache/hazel/forest seed --

      your forest this browser

      each tree is a nut she forgot for you. click one to see whose it was.

      08 access.log

      everything that happened to the oak, in the format the server would have used. authored history, not a chain read.

      timerequeststatusnote

      09 git log --nuts

        10 faq

        read this. CACHE is a memecoin. it has no intrinsic value and no promise of a return. it is not an investment and nothing here is financial advice. the price can go to zero. buy only what you can afford to lose, and check the contract yourself.